Thursday, September 10, 2009

Gushy McFanboy: Green Boobies are Groobies!

I just came back from a date with my wife. Romantic? Hells yeah! Cheap theater all the way, baby. That's 3.25 for each ticket but 23 bucks for popcorn and pop! We couldn't agree what to see so she went to The Hangover and I saw Star Trek (2009) again. Second time, and it's twice as awesome!! Music, effects, things that smash into other things, Two Spocks, Transwarp Beaming, Scotty, Romulan truckers with limited planning skills, Orbittal sky-diving, Giant Rubbery Hands, Ice Planets, Desert Planets, Ample Nacelles, Bad Robots, No Sign of Hugh Jackman, and best of all, no DIRECT ONSCREEN EVIDENCE of the highly probable but devoutly not-to-be-wished death of Orion Cadet Gaila!

That's right, kiddies, Jim Kirk's steamy green bunkmate, Uhura's pal, and the lady whose dubious alien sense of morality allowed her to reprogram Kirk's Kobiyashi Maru, was a member of Kirk's DEEPLY ILL-FATED graduating class is probably a cinder at the center of a black hole along with 6 billion Vulcans and (according to the novelization) the starships Newton, Armstrong, Defiant, Mayflower, and Excelsior.
However, I am still rooting for that plucky veridian vixen!
The novel ALSO lists such graduate assignments as Starbase 3, Odyssey, Regula One, Farragut, Drake, Potemkin, Bradbury, Kongo, Endeavor and Antares.
Both film and novel refer to the bulk of the starfleet rendezvousing in the Laurentian system. And that colorful hypothetical loophole is where I hope and pray that promiscuous paragon of pulchritude was a-headed...
Easiest of all, she could've been grinning at Uhura because she got a spot on the coveted (and lucky as a leprechaun) Enterprise herself.
No, no, therrre's no need to thank me. Saving the lives of fictional characters is my job, nay, my CALLING. Am I drunk? I'm not NOT drunk.
And on the subject of desperate and futile attempts to save doomed sci-fi gals with brightly colored skin, why not check out my Star Wars comic at
It's true. I'm a remarkable guy.

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